to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
