I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
