I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Randomize
