I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Even the bartender felt bad for me
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
FUCK WHALES
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