lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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