My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
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