for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
