so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize