And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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