they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
