I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
