how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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