we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
