if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
