omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
