Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
