I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
