why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
