Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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