Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
