capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
