apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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