found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
