at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
