I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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