haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
