No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
