so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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