I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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