I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
