Welp...herpes.
handjob tips. give me some.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
