Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize