If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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