Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
