hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
don't judge my taste in strippers
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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