the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
