I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
