i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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