rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
