Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
