hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
