I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
