Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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