you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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