Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
either way he was missing a nipple.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
