we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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