dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize