he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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