Midget sex pt 2 tonight
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I'm experimenting with sincerity
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
