went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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