I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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