yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
