I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
