Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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