Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
