Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
