Your face is a jimmy john
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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