thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
