i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Terrible idea I love it
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
