the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize